Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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