So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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