did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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