things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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