I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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