i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
