Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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