You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
