Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize