i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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