Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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