i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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