I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
