so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
