I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
