oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
