you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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