Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
