Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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