that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
