Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
