you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
