the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize