do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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