i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My penis needs a shock collar
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
