it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
