please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
