this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
