I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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