I got chris browned last night
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
