you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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