DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
