Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
