I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
