Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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