never play flip cup with pint glasses
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize