The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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