Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize