If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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