I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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