if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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