i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
do nipples grow back?
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