it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize