just tell him i said nine months
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
