he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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