It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize