Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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