i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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