i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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