She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You pole danced in your parka.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
