Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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