his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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