how can u be prego again
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
