6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
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So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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