I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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