I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
