i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
