just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
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He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
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If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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