There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he thought i was a dude.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
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Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
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She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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