I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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