So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
how does that bad decision feel?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
