Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
