I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
